Relationships are a lot like Gardens

Now that my children are mostly grown, I have more time to pursue some of my own personal interests. I recently decided to start a container garden on my back patio.  Since I’ve never gardened before, I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few weeks reading all about container gardening. I’ve been to my local nursery so many times and asked so many questions that they now know me by name. This past weekend I finally bought some annuals and perennials and got them planted! Now I am watching over them as I did when my kids were newborns…

Despite having never gardened before, I have been a wannabe Gardner for many years and have managed to incorporate my interest in gardening into my life in various small ways. In my work with couples, I often use the analogy of relationships being like gardens to emphasize the point that relationships need to be nurtured and tended. 

Now that I am actually doing some gardening, I am blown away by just how good an analogy this really is! Here are 7 ways the process of maintaining a healthy garden and the process of maintaining a healthy relationship are similar.

Relationships and gardens both require sustained care and maintenance in order to thrive. There’s no way around this one: you must be willing to put in some time and effort and do what needs to be done if you want to succeed. If left untended for too long, they will eventually wither and die.  

Failing to take the needs of the other party, either garden or partner, into consideration is a recipe for disaster. You can’t have everything be the way you want it all the time. Pay attention to what conditions they are “telling” you that they need and make compromises so that all parties get at least some of what is needed to thrive.

Make it stand out

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Patience and flexibility are essential for both gardening and relationships. Both involve some processes that can’t be rushed, and it is inevitable that things will not always go as expected. It will go much better and be a lot more enjoyable if you are able to appreciate the journey you take to reach your gardening and relationship goals.

Both relationships and gardens can sometimes feel like a labor of love: They are both messy, dirty, and no fun at times. And sometimes you’re doing the work but it doesn’t feel like your efforts are paying off… at least not right then. 

The emotional rewards of both are immeasurable: joy, peace, contentment, connection, purpose, satisfaction, and more. 

Both gardens and relationships are resilient. They can withstand harsh or unfavorable conditions for a while and are able to recover quite well when steps are taken to repair the damage that was caused.

You can work smarter, not harder when it comes to both relationships and gardening. You don’t have to do everything yourself or become an expert. There are many resources at your disposal to help you be effective and efficient at both of these things.

For those of you who aren’t into gardening, I sometimes use cars rather than gardening in this analogy. Unfortunately, my knowledge of cars is extremely basic so there will not be a future newsletter on the similarities between cars and relationships!